By Tom
CHAPTER 1
One day little Suzy asked her dad how long it was ‘till they move house. Her dad sayed about two more weeks. But poor little Suzy couldn’t wait that long, she had being waiting about six weeks just to move house and whenever she asked her dad how long it was ‘till they would move the awnser was allways two more weeks from mum or dad.
One day she woke up to find a calendar by her bed. It said March 25th 2000…
That was the day when they were moving. How could she tell? Because she saw the moving van outside parked on the road. When it was just ½ a mile until they were there Suzy needed the toilet. Then when it was ¼ of a mile she needed it even more. When she finally got to the new house she burst through the door rushed to the toilet and did a great big poo. When she was washing her hands she noticed that instead of water coming out of the taps she saw fingernails. She screamed and fainted. Really quickly they got her to hospital. But all the spaces were full up…except one. Quickly they rushed to it just before somebody else got there. The person that nearly got there was a boy who was about 16 years old. His name was Richard. He had broken his arm. "Suzy Malian please", shouted the doctor. "That’s us", said dad. "Now what’s the matter with Suzy?" asked the doctor." Well you see", said mum and dad together, "We just moved house and when Suzy was washing her hands she saw (instead of water coming out of the taps) she saw fingernails." Then the doctor fainted too. So they went to the nurse. And you’ll never guess what!
The nurse fainted too. And who ever they told…just fainted. And so they went to have a look for themselves.
CHAPTER 2
They turned the tap on and you’ll never guess what………..they didn’t see anything but water.
So they went to tell everybody that nothing to do with water had came out of the tap they went to see for themselves, and guess what they saw………….fingernails. So they went to look in every tap in America, (which was the country they lived in) and all that came out was water, water and not forgetting water. They couldn’t believe it. They thought there was something wrong with the tap that spat fingernails. So they called the plumber in. But when he looked in the pipes he saw the bits of DEAD PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I know why your tap spits fingernails", he said, "It’s because there is lots of bits of dead people in the pipe."
CHAPTER 3
"So that’s why it was spitting fingernails", said the nurse, "We must get rid of all the body parts so it will spit water again." So they all got to work, except Suzy (who still hadn’t been woken up yet from fainting). "STOP", shouted the plumber, "we MUST wake Suzy up." "But how are we going to do that", asked the doctor. "We are going to make a wakeupfromfaintingmachine," said the plumber. "How do we do that?" asked the nurse. "We need metal, stretal, betal, getal, tetal and all that greasy stuff you put on your hands to make ‘em slippery." "I don’t think I know what betal is", replied the doctor. "Nothing you’d be interested in", said the plumber.
CHAPTER 4
"Now, put the metal and the betal together and you get the bit that wakes the person up. Then put the betal and the stretal together and you get the pole that the thing that wakes the person up goes on. Then put the stretal and the getal together and you get the stand that holds up the pole that holds up the thing that wakes the person up. Any questions?" "Yes", said the doctor, "How do you make it?" "Doc", said everybody. "What?! Did somebody call?"
CHAPTER 5
So the next day they took the wakeupfromfaintingmachine to where Suzy had fainted and woke her up. "Let’s go & stop the tap that spat fingernails," Suzy shouted. "Suzy stop," said the nurse. "First we must make a plan." "How do we do that?" asked Suzy. "I’ll tell you," said the nurse. And she whispered something into Suzy’s ear; "we’ll do it tomorrow…"
The next day Suzy & her friends went to her house & cleaned out the pipes for the whole day. Finally they finished.
Then Suzy went to the toilet. But when she flushed it skulls came out. "We’ll have to start all over again," she said as she went off to tell the others.
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!